Filters through which we see the world

This weekend I ran into a bit of a clash with another woman in my congregation at church. Without going into too many details, I'll just say that something happened at church that I had no idea would have been an issue for anyone else. Not until I received an emotionally charged and pretty mean spirited email from her later on in the day.


I was pretty shaken. It came out of nowhere. I thought about how to respond for several hours before answering her email with one of my own. I apologized, explained the context of what had happened and then apologized again. I honestly hadn't intended to upset anyone. It wasn't long before I received a second email, just as angry as the first, accusing me of being condescending in my response.


Anyone who's ever actually known me, knows that I'm not a confrontational person. I tend towards shy and for most of my life I have avoided being around other women, simply to avoid this sort of drama in my life. It's not worth it to me. I don't want enemies. I barely have time for friends. And drama is exhausting.


But the whole thing got me thinking. I assumed when I apologized and explained what happened that it would diffuse things. Because  that's my world view. Most of the time, understanding the motives of a situation will change my outlook of it. It's been a useful skill for me in avoiding all that confrontation I try so hard to avoid.


But this woman, who I barely know, has a very different world view. I'm not sure I've ever actually spoken to her before this, but from the one interaction I have had, she strikes me as a woman who feeds on drama. She is the sort of person who has enemies. So when she read my apology, that's the filter she was using. I'm pretty sure that no matter what I said, she'd have found a reason to take it as evidence that I was diving into the fight.


I might very well be unfair in that assessment. Like I said, I barely know her. But first impressions are pretty intense sometimes. I've decided that the only thing for me to do at this point is to bow out. I'm not interested in drawing things out any further. She can take her half of the fight somewhere else.


But I am writer and I think this whole thing has been good for me. It got me thinking about what sorts of filters are my characters using.? How can two characters in the same room see the situation they are both in as entirely, fundamentally different?


I was writing the mid section of my Writer's of the Future story last night and this came into play. I had an antagonist who was going to do something terrible. He was about to quite brutally take away anything and everything the protagonist has ever held dear. I thought the antagonist was going to be cruel and flippant. But when I looked through the filter he was using on the situation, I suddenly realized that wasn't who he was at all. He honestly believes that what he's doing is the right thing. The only thing. He even apologizes in his own twisted way. But then he goes and kill's the girl anyway.


He's a better bad guy now. It's a more emotionally charged scene. I'm quite pleased with the results.


I plan on submitting this story for the first quarter of the year. Hopefully it does well, though I'm hesitant that no matter how well written it might be, the girl still dies at the mid-point. There just isn't any other way to examine the idea behind the story if she doesn't. And from what I've read, WotF tends towards stories with less murdering 17 year old girls at the mid-point. But they can't say no if I don't send it in right? And there's always another story in the next quarter.


Hopefully there aren't any more angry emails though. I learned what I can from that and I'd like to move on now.

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